


Broken and Whole

by theunusualsuspect



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Depression, F/F, One Shot, this is what happens when I wake up for no reason at two am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-23 05:07:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21314665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theunusualsuspect/pseuds/theunusualsuspect
Summary: Chloe was brave... or Chloe was reckless.At times it was hard to tell.
Relationships: Maxine "Max" Caulfield/Chloe Price, Rachel Amber/Chloe Price
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	Broken and Whole

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hannahhsolo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahhsolo/gifts).

> Thanks for giving me a tool to push through my anxiety about commenting. Without that stepping stone, this wouldn't be here.

Chloe was brave… or Chloe was reckless.

At times it was hard to tell.

It was easy to seem brave when consequences were an abstract concept in a foreign tongue that she had yet to learn. 

Somehow, whether by sheer dumb luck, or her parents’ and Max’s combined efforts to temper her wildest flights of fancy into something more reasonable, if not entirely safe, the pain of consequences had yet to leave their mark on her life.

With the beautiful naivety of youth, she fought her parents for the freedom of the skies while they desperately tried to tether her to the ground in the hope they could keep her from flying too close to the sun. 

But with Max, it was different.

One word from Max could stop her mid flight and call her back to earth. It was no fun soaring through the clouds if her best friend, her first mate, was too scared to enjoy the height.

Together they were more than the sum of their parts, they balanced each other’s extremes. 

Where Chloe’s eyes scoured the endless horizon of possibility, seeking adventure in the unknown, Max’s were drawn to the treacherous depths below; to the reefs and rocks that would sink, the waves that would capsize and the monsters that lurked in the deep, waiting to swallow them whole.

Together they managed to keep their ship afloat, to navigate through danger and adventure alike. 

But then everything changed.

Chloe’s blessed run of luck ran out, and instead of learning about consequences by a thousand small bruises, scrapes and cuts, she was sliced open in one huge gash. A cut to the bone that bled and bled and _bled_.

Too many hours on the road and a red light not seen was all it took for a truck to end a life and shatter more.

Her father’s death left her in so many pieces that she feared she would never again be whole. But she knew deep down that with enough time and her first mate beside her, they could stitch her back together. Sure, it would be bloody and messy, but eventually she would alright.

But not satisfied with one loss, fate twisted the knife and tore Max away on the day of William’s funeral, right when she needed her most.

From casket, to car, to Seattle; Max left.

Without her, Chloe's gaping cut weeped and festered, poisoning the air with the vitriolic bile of a teenager that had lost too much, too soon, all at once. 

Their ship had foundered and Chloe was adrift, cut off from their haven where the future was bright and anything seemed possible. Instead she was gasping and tumbling, desperately trying to stay afloat in the turbulent high seas where she knew with terrible certainty that _anything_ was possible.

Chloe was reckless… or Chloe was brave.

It was easy for moments of bravery to seem reckless when consequences were no more than a possible end to suffering.

While Chloe didn’t intend to invite Death to dinner, if they tapped on the door with their scythe, she would have welcomed them in. It wasn’t that she had a death wish per se, she was death indifferent at best, or at worst; take your pick. She could be or not be. _Whatever_. 

She trudged through the days with an air of cold apathy only those with nothing left to lose could project.

Each morning, she armoured herself with torn clothes and spikes, and wrapped herself in barbed words and murderous looks to keep others from crawling under her skin and into her heart.

Better to be alone than to open yourself to loss.

But no one can block out the sun.

Rachel Amber swept into her life; a radiant star burning bright. And for once, Chloe didn’t have to strive like Icarus; the sun came to her and she was soaring. Her long winter gave way to spring. The feelings she’d numbed, kept frozen in thick glacial ice, thawed and flooded all at once.

Rachel Amber brought Chloe light. She brought fire and passion and purpose; a reason to get out of bed, a reason to hope. In return, Chloe gave her heart. 

But like the sun, Rachel brought light to many. She collected hearts like jewellery. Like charms on a bracelet, or earrings or beads on a necklace.

She was the wind; free and wild. She danced through lives like a tempest, whirling and scattering and flinging hearts to the far corners of the earth, leaving lives in chaotic disarray. She didn’t mean to, it was just who she was.

Rachel was never meant for just one person, and the more Chloe grasped, the quicker she slipped through her hands. 

Then, one day she was gone.

Chloe wasn’t reckless, she wasn’t brave. She wasn’t much of anything for a while. 

She was consumed by loss and uncertainty. Surely Rachel wouldn’t leave without her, without so much as a goodbye. Surely.

She latched onto that thought with the tenacity of an animal fighting for its life.

She _was_ fighting for her life. Rachel was everything and Chloe was desperate with a grief she dared not name as such in case she would somehow manifest what she feared most.

She threw herself into the search for Rachel with a single mindedness that put shame to the lacklustre efforts of Rachel’s family and Arcadia Bay’s finest Prescott lapdogs in blue.

When Rachel disappeared, she took with her a piece of Chloe and left behind a new void to join those left by William and Max. Though not all three never met in life, they held hands in Chloe’s heart; a paper chain of loss cut from the fabric of Chloe’s love.

She felt like she was more void than human, like she was falling, tumbling endlessly through the dark nothingness of space, collapsing into the vacuum within.

Chloe was empty, until she wasn’t.

Until the unexpected happened. Until a part of her that she’d given up all hope of ever seeing again returned home.

Max wasn’t light, she wasn’t a blazing sun of fire and passion. But that was ok. Chloe still bore the scars from her dance with a star, she didn’t need more.

Max was the smell of pancakes in the morning, the warmth of a soft blanket on a cold winter’s night. She was the laughter of a pun so bad it came full circle back to good, she was the comfort of hot cocoa in the fall and the satisfying crunch of leaves underfoot. She was the salt in the air and the wind in her sails.

But most of all, Max was her home. 

And Chloe was brave, and reckless and everything in between. She was empty and full and broken and whole.

But most of all, she was alive. Alive in a way that she hadn’t been since their ship first ran aground. The day childhood ended, when rose-tinted glass shattered and the world was revealed to be ugly and vile.

She wasn’t ok, but neither was Max and that was alright. Rachel was gone and so was the town, but they were together. That was what mattered. They were more than the sum of their parts once again. Together they could mend themselves and each other and one day, when their wounds had closed and the scabs had fallen, _one day_, they would be whole. 

**Author's Note:**

> So this happened. Figures that the first thing I've written that I'm happy enough with to share is born from the inhuman combination of consecutive 12hr work days and insomnia. It's also the first thing I've managed to finish, so hopefully there'll be more to come.


End file.
